WEDDING ETIQUETTE: DO’S AND DON’TS

Traditionally, there are a few wedding protocols that are associated with planning a wedding. As a bride myself, there are several “rules” that I question throughout the process of planning. There are easy questions and there are questions I feel like I don’t even want to ask out loud. What I have to consistently remind myself of is that this our (Matt and I) big day and though it may seem like it, there aren’t any rules when planning a wedding. Here are some tough questions that I tried to answer 100% honestly.

 

What is the #1 of wedding etiquette?

Do not make your guest’s wait! Not only is it rude to have your guests waiting for you to walk down the aisle, but it also puts a damper on the entire celebration. It does not matter how great the catering is, how entertaining the DJ is, or how beautiful your decorations are…People will certainly not have fun at your wedding if it isn’t a timely production. Momentum is everything when it comes to celebrating at a wedding. Take advantage that is not only the most important element of your wedding, but that it does not cost a thing!

 

Single Guests. How do I tell them that they can’t bring a date?

This is your big day and you want to spend it with people that have had a big influence on your life, right? Right! If you have a strict budget, the easiest cuts to make to your guest lists are the people you don’t know. The only time it is acceptable to bring a date, is if they are in a serious relationship.

 

How do I tell a friend that she is not a bridesmaid?

This is a tough one. Being mindful and compassionate is about all the advice that I can give you. As long as you are honest with them, they should respect your decision.

 

How do I explain the lack of help to my Maid of Honor?

Choosing a Maid of Honor is an extremely hard decision that every bride has to make. Letting them know that you are happy and confident in your decision, will give them a sense of pride. Also, choosing a Maid of Honor is a two-way street. They have to accept the fact that they are responsible for being your right hand, which requires a lot of time, effort, and patience.

 

Is it acceptable to ask for cash as a wedding gift?

Personally, I don’t want the three toasters, matching mugs, and set of wine glasses. However, it is tacky to put on the invitation “Cash Gifts Only!” Letting your immediate family, Maid of Honor, and Best Man know your gift requests is your best bet, because guests will ask them for gift ideas.

 

I have a crazy mother-in-law that is overbearing during the planning of my wedding. How do I confront her?

Fortunately, I do not have this problem. However, I know a lot of brides that have run into this issue and it had put a stitch into the experience of planning their wedding. The important thing is to be respectful, loving, and honest. Letting her know that this is your big day, not hers. Though her opinions and ideas mean a lot to you, you’ve decided to go a different direction in the wedding plans.

Who sits at the bride and groom table?

Whoever you want! This is your big day and you have to remember that there aren’t any rules that you have to follow. Typically, there are three options. 1) Bride and Groom table, where you and your newly married lover share an intimate table. 2) Bride, Groom parents and siblings. 3) Bride, Groom, and Bridal Party.

 

How do I let people know that there will not be a full meal provided at the reception?

Instead of writing “Ceremony at _:__ time and reception to follow, simply write “Ceremony at _:__ with drinks and h’ordeuvres to follow. Personally, our wedding isn’t formal whatsoever. I didn’t like the idea of a plated dinner. To create a relaxed atmosphere, I wanted to have an extended cocktail hour. (Finger food, carving station, and open bar) Perfect! Like I said, there isn’t a rule book for planning weddings, just suggestions.

 

Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Anybody you want! For me, I am inviting my family, the bridal party, and out-of-town guests.

 

These are only a few questions that I could think of. Let me know in the comments below if you can come up with any other questions for me!

 

Xo,

Jessica Calkins

On My Way Down the Aisle: Aisle Style

There isn’t anything more exciting and nerve racking than searching for that perfect white dress for your wedding. I couldn’t tell you how many “Say Yes to the Dress” reruns I have watched or the amount of wedding magazines I have read to find my perfect dress. No matter how many reruns I watch or how many magazines I read, it does not make my decision of finding a dress any easier. I’ve researched what dress looks best on my body, color, and budget; all major factors when choosing a dress. However, researching will only take you as far as a pretty dress that looks great on you. The most ESSENTIAL aspect of choosing a dress, it was feels right. Can you see yourself walking down the aisle in this dress?

As I’ve said before, I am not too traditional of a bride. I wanted a dress that was unique but fit my personal style and the style of the wedding. I was lucky enough to fly to Los Angeles and search for the perfect dress! (Thanks, Mom!) My sister, my mother and I flew to LA last October. What brought us to LA was the Trunk Show for Grace Loves Lace. I’m sure most of you are familiar with Grace Loves Lace, one of the most unique, wedding dress designers from Australia. I had my eye on a few of their dresses for a while, even before I was engaged! Anyway, we decided to plan a few visits to small boutiques in the LA area as well, one of them being Lovely Bride Wedding Boutique. Lovely Bride has several shops; even one in Washington D.C.!

My first appointment of the trip was at Lovely Bride and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic to start my journey on finding my dress with my mom and sister. When we first arrived, we all looked around the shop and picked out our favorites. I was really open to trying on any dress since it was my first appointment. As a bride, I didn’t want to put a lot of pressure on myself because I wanted this to be a fun experience for all of us. So, I tried on all types of dresses of different shapes, lengths, and styles. One after the other, I would walk out and we would talk about what we liked and what we didn’t like about each dress. After a few, I tried on this beautiful lace gown (I don’t want to give too much away because Matt reads this blog!) that made me feel like a bride for the first time. As I pulled back the curtain to show my mom and sister, we could all see that it was a top contender. I still had a few dresses to try on, but that dress was definitely in the back of my mind for the remainder of the appointment. After I had tried on all the dresses, I wanted to put that beautiful lace gown back on. I’m looking at myself in the mirror with only my wedding dress consultant in the room with me. I kept telling her, “this is it…THIS IS IT!” Again, I pull back the curtain to show my mom and sister and tears start streaming down my face. I felt so beautiful and knew that I wanted to walk down the Aisle and marry Matt in this dress. It couldn’t have been more perfect for me…except one thing. I did the one this you are NOT supposed to do when trying on a wedding dress. I tried on a dress that was WAY out of my budget. I was upset to say the least. I could never spend this amount of money on a dress that I was going to wear once in my life. I would never forgive myself.

We decided to hang up that gorgeous dress and leave. The way that dress made me feel was something I’d never felt before, and it was so, incredibly hard to let it go. We headed toward the Grace Loves Lace Trunk Show and were feeling optimistic about what we were going to find. Once we arrived, there was an extremely long line to try on dresses that weren’t even in your size. There was one dress of every style of dress that they had, which was maybe 20-25 dresses. Feeling discourage, we left. It just didn’t feel right.

We ended up flying back to Washington, D.C. without a dress in hand. I have tried on a couple dresses here and have found a very close second but that dress is ALWAYS on my mind. I have recently enter a contest on Instagram for Lovely Bride! They are giving away $5,000 toward any purchase of their dresses. Of course, there are thousands of beautiful brides entering…but there is always a chance, right? Wish me luck!

Xo,

Jessica Calkins

Thank you to Etsy and Racked…

:::Thank You Etsy and Racked:::

How do you say “thank you” to a company that recognizes what you do and tells the world- We love them?    

Well, you shout it to the world.

https://www.etsy.com/pages/weddings2015/bridesmaids?ref=pg_index_12

Not only did they feature one of our necklaces in the 2015 Etsy Wedding Look-Book,  they featured four. How awesome is that!!!  We are one of three jewelry designer chosen out of hundreds of thousands designers on the handmade website Etsy…

We are honored and truly thankful for this opportunity to represent our lovely jewelry…

WE would also like to recognize and thank Racked for publishing all of these beautiful finds on their website. Truly, it is an honor and we are so very thankful:)

Check out all of the other wonderful handmade finds here:

https://www.etsy.com/pages/weddings2015