Traditionally, there are a few wedding protocols that are associated with planning a wedding. As a bride myself, there are several “rules” that I question throughout the process of planning. There are easy questions and there are questions I feel like I don’t even want to ask out loud. What I have to consistently remind myself of is that this our (Matt and I) big day and though it may seem like it, there aren’t any rules when planning a wedding. Here are some tough questions that I tried to answer 100% honestly.
What is the #1 of wedding etiquette?
Do not make your guest’s wait! Not only is it rude to have your guests waiting for you to walk down the aisle, but it also puts a damper on the entire celebration. It does not matter how great the catering is, how entertaining the DJ is, or how beautiful your decorations are…People will certainly not have fun at your wedding if it isn’t a timely production. Momentum is everything when it comes to celebrating at a wedding. Take advantage that is not only the most important element of your wedding, but that it does not cost a thing!
Single Guests. How do I tell them that they can’t bring a date?
This is your big day and you want to spend it with people that have had a big influence on your life, right? Right! If you have a strict budget, the easiest cuts to make to your guest lists are the people you don’t know. The only time it is acceptable to bring a date, is if they are in a serious relationship.
How do I tell a friend that she is not a bridesmaid?
This is a tough one. Being mindful and compassionate is about all the advice that I can give you. As long as you are honest with them, they should respect your decision.
How do I explain the lack of help to my Maid of Honor?
Choosing a Maid of Honor is an extremely hard decision that every bride has to make. Letting them know that you are happy and confident in your decision, will give them a sense of pride. Also, choosing a Maid of Honor is a two-way street. They have to accept the fact that they are responsible for being your right hand, which requires a lot of time, effort, and patience.
Is it acceptable to ask for cash as a wedding gift?
Personally, I don’t want the three toasters, matching mugs, and set of wine glasses. However, it is tacky to put on the invitation “Cash Gifts Only!” Letting your immediate family, Maid of Honor, and Best Man know your gift requests is your best bet, because guests will ask them for gift ideas.
I have a crazy mother-in-law that is overbearing during the planning of my wedding. How do I confront her?
Fortunately, I do not have this problem. However, I know a lot of brides that have run into this issue and it had put a stitch into the experience of planning their wedding. The important thing is to be respectful, loving, and honest. Letting her know that this is your big day, not hers. Though her opinions and ideas mean a lot to you, you’ve decided to go a different direction in the wedding plans.
Who sits at the bride and groom table?
Whoever you want! This is your big day and you have to remember that there aren’t any rules that you have to follow. Typically, there are three options. 1) Bride and Groom table, where you and your newly married lover share an intimate table. 2) Bride, Groom parents and siblings. 3) Bride, Groom, and Bridal Party.
How do I let people know that there will not be a full meal provided at the reception?
Instead of writing “Ceremony at _:__ time and reception to follow, simply write “Ceremony at _:__ with drinks and h’ordeuvres to follow. Personally, our wedding isn’t formal whatsoever. I didn’t like the idea of a plated dinner. To create a relaxed atmosphere, I wanted to have an extended cocktail hour. (Finger food, carving station, and open bar) Perfect! Like I said, there isn’t a rule book for planning weddings, just suggestions.
Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?
Anybody you want! For me, I am inviting my family, the bridal party, and out-of-town guests.
These are only a few questions that I could think of. Let me know in the comments below if you can come up with any other questions for me!
Xo,
Jessica Calkins
Bare and Me 