You Deserve This

0079cda9c0b99c18c44841921c0185f3Being back at school for my spring and final semester definitely has me feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I am sad one minute, happy the other, stressed another, I cannot keep it together.

So many things go into this final semester. The job search begins, which is my top priority at the moment. But above all, its the ending of one chapter, and the beginning of another. This is the moment where I truly need to figure out who I want to be and where I want to end up. What the hell do I know? I am just a twenty something college student who likes to watch cat videos on youtube in her spare time.

I am so torn between staying young forever or truly figuring out who I am by growing up. Your college memories will probably be the best times of your life, and I am not sure I truly want to leave. I mean, I know I have to. But the thought of leaving my friends and not having a set specific schedule anymore is really tough for me. These girls have been there for me since freshman year when we came in so terrified, and we have gone through it all together.

Heartbreaks

Failed tests

Family problems

Bad decisions

We have all been there for each other, no matter what stupid decision or drama that has tried to stop us. So why leave? I am not sure I want this chapter to end. Or this next chapter to begin.

Who do I want to be?

Will I like my job?

Will I even have a job?

These thoughts are all running through my head, as I am sure they are running through every other seniors head as well.

I take my walk to class every day, and I just think to myself. “I am really lucky to be here. At this school. Surrounded by these people.”

I am lucky.

But its not luck.

I got myself to this point, obviously with some help along the way, but I wanted this.

What I am saying is, although it may be hard to leave, I deserve to succeed. I deserve to finish this chapter, and begin writing the next.

And above all, I deserve to be happy, no matter where I am, or who I am with. And I will continue to remember that no matter where I end up.

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